And I am livid.

Because she's absolutely right, and the things that Hannity's viewers are doing to her prove it beyond a doubt. We're having the wrong conversations. We're putting the responsibility on the wrong people.

We teach our daughters to be ashamed of their bodies, to hide them, for fear of what those bodies might do to the men around them.

We teach our daughters to be quiet and avoid notice, to shade their brilliance, so that they won't attract the wrong kind of attention.

We teach our daughters to accept the blame for what is done to them, so that they won't make people angrier.

And what do we teach our sons?

To take, to force, to fight, to deny.

I'm painting with broad brush strokes, I know. There are a lot of good men out there who really do respect the women in their lives, who hear no and accept it the first time.

But too many don't. Rape is not about women behaving inappropriately. It isn't about women dressing provocatively. It isn't about women who don't know their place.

What I've learned from my life is that rape, all violence, is about control and domination and dehumanization. What I've learned from my life is that it's about men who have no self-respect and feel threatened by women. What I've learned from my life is that it's about people who don't know any way to raise themselves up except on the backs and blood of those who are physically weaker than they are.

So, Zerlina Maxwell is right. We're having the wrong conversations. We need to teach our daughters to shine and to be beautiful and to take no grief. And we need to teach our sons to respect our daughters and themselves.

We need to teach men not to rape.